We lost our dear friend Yasujiro Okajima this past Sunday evening. We met him in 2001 when we lived in Shonan Takatori. He was a great neighbor and friend. He had a lovely Japanese Buddhist service this past Wednesday. Truly different from anything Jeff or I had attended prior but very moving. I think the thing that struck me the most was that in their greatest sorrow the Japanese are still "so Japanese". Hard to explain unless you have experienced the Japanese way. His wife Shegeiko couldn't thank us enough for attending and mentioned how honored she was that we would attend and that Jeff would come in his dress blues. She kept thanking us for our friendship. When we're the ones that were so proud and honored to call him our friend.
Okajima-san was 84 and had been battling esophageal and tongue cancer for the past year. He and Shegeiko were married for over 50 years.
We will miss his friendship. And his coffee! He made great coffee!!! (using an old percolator!)
7 comments:
:-(
I am sorry about that....but, I really love the silver lining of what comfort you and Jeff were to Shigeiko. I'll bet she will warm her hands over that for a long time. So, for THAT, at least -- I am glad you could be there for him (& her) at the end.
You should get a percolator and try it out, just in honor of him. What do you think?
xoxoxo
t.
We have one...what if we lose power? Got to have Coffee!! Our gas grill has a burner for just that reason. We lost power in Quantico for 7 days after hurricane Isabelle. We were so glad to have the percolator. Actually, that's all my aunt uses in VT. Percolator on a wood stove. LOVE LOVE LOVE VERMONT COFFEE!
and Tanya did you know that you get gifts when you attend a Japanese funeral? I forgot to mention that. After thinking about it I don't know why it surprised me so much. They give gifts for everything. Just seemed so weird to leave the hall with a bag full of gifts.
Patty -- Patty -- WHAT kind of gifts do you get at a funeral? And a whole bag of them? I can't even pick out a sympathy card without squirming about not getting the "right" one. Impossible to imagine what things the bereaved family would give to funeral guests.
???
PS: I'm glad you have a percolator, after all....you'll think of him when you use it, I bet. :-)
Our bag contained two small gift wrapped packages with Okajima-san's announcement attached as well as a packet of salt. We were supposed to sprinkle the salt at our door step prior to our entering our home. This is because we visited the dead and you don't want the dead to enter your home. We of course just threw them in the trash (and have yet to receive any "visitors"). Those two packages contained the same thing. Ralph Lauren hand towels. Very nice and we are already using them. We also got one big gift box that contained an assortment of jams and teas.
That is a really useful set of gifts....and I'll enjoy thinking about that for awhile, because as we know, the Japanese don't do ANYTHING without giving it some meaningful thought. Hmmmm....what kind of jam?
Patty - so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend, but, what an interesting story about the gifts and the tradition of the salt, etc. What a wonderful experience of being in the middle of another culture!
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